Over the last couple of days and in my quiet time I continue to hear, “I need a refreshing”. Not sure what those words meant and so I went to the Lord. I also keep hearing “Come to Him and rest”. After Jordan passed I was not sure what to do next. All I know is I have a peace and an overall sense of calmness. Yes I am emotional, without a doubt. One thing is for sure, I have no regrets.

As Jordan went through the various prescribed treatments he wore a smile no matter what. I heard someone say the other day, I never saw Jordan complain, get upset, have an attitude or even cry about the diagnosis. As I reflect on that persons statements I realized she was right, Jordan endured until the very end. God seem to give Jordan a very special tolerance in this diagnosis. I am convinced now more than ever that was part of what God called Jordan to do. I watched Jordan as we went for treatments in Dallas as we always saw other children with a similar affliction but with a different disposition and outlook. We saw some children display a temper tantrum hear and there and then those that cried and cried and cried. I hope noone reads this post and thinks that Jordan, was better because that is not the message. The message is he did not allow his circumstance and or diagnosis to dictate how he lived. He did the exact opposite and that is he lived inspite of, to the fullest and always with a smile. That was and is God, no other explanation. I could not see this before but I finally got it. We are going to experience pain here on earth but how will you endure…I know how Jordan did and now I know how I did and will moving forward.

I stood outside this morning seeking this refreshing. Wondering would it come to me in the form of rain falling on my face or just a rushing unexplainable peace. I’d like to say to you I figured it out,I know what the refreshing is. I am not sure what the refreshing is at this point but I hope on my next posting, I found the refreshing and engulfed myself in it day by day. Until then here is a picture of Jordan with our dog Sassy.

I also want to encourage you in song as God did me during the storm:


Jordan loved Sassy